Random Acts Of Kindness

As we head full steam into the festive season I have been recently reminded of the potential of humanity through a stranger’s random act of kindness.

Like most people, I have moved into the technical banking age. Leaving the wallet at home and using my iPhone for payments. It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s convenient, until the shopkeeper advises his “terminal is down” and it’s cash only.

On a recent trip to the outskirts of Melbourne I found myself at a small shopping centre in Hurstbridge. My task was to find a strawberry milkshake for my 7 year old boy! A simple task that became quickly complex.

After ordering, the cafe owner advised me his terminal was down and he was accepting cash only. I checked all my pockets but to no avail because who carries cash anymore! All through COVID nobody wanted cash, and now, when I need it, I don’t have any on me. He said you go find some and I’ll get started on the Milkshake, thinking this would be an easy task, I agreed.

I raced back to find my partner at the IGA. I called out down the aisle “you got any cash honey? the man’s ATM is broken” then having had a brain explosion I asked the young lady at the IGA counter if they did cash out like Coles do or Woolies do? She advised she could give it a go but she thought I would need the actual card, not just the iPhone tap.

Alas! It didn’t work. So now I have a cafe owner making a milkshake that I’m unable to pay. No ATM in sight, no way to get cash out. To my surprise, the young lady working at the register bent down to her handbag under the shelf and pulls $5 from her own wallet. She says “go, take this.” I was mortified. I had money, just no cash. She insisted “it’s no big deal” she said, “take it and get your milkshake.” So I thanked her profusely, promising I would come back. I turned as I walked out and told her that she has made a 7-year old boy very happy today and went to collect the milkshake.

Now, remember this is someone who lives in Melbourne and usually works in retail, in a state that has been locked down for months. She works on the register at IGA having only been back in employment for two to three weeks and decides to hand over $5 to a complete stranger with absolutely no way or thought of having it returned. My heart is warmed by such random acts of kindness and all I could think was not only pay it back but pay it forward.

Later that afternoon we headed to the airport with a detour to that IGA. My 7 year old took the $5 and handed it back to the young lady behind the register thanking her for his strawberry milkshake! Surprisingly, she said “you’re back, you know I thought I’d never see you again.”

Today, I thought about random acts of kindness and how each of us have the potential to contribute to building a kindness culture in our community. It doesn’t have to be money, it could be giving your time or helping someone out, making a meal or a cup of coffee or even just some encouraging words with a smile.

I bumped into someone at my local café who had seen one of my webinars, she was struggling coming from the travel industry so I gave her an hour of my time to help her out!

So, as we head into the silly season, what will be your random act of kindness? That is, where you do something without any expectations or obligations of return or recognition.

Four Days In A Campervan – A Lesson In Communication, Change And Resilience

I recently took a holiday with the family to Kangaroo Island in South Australia. We were fortunate to find an available campervan for our adventure in the midst of COVID19; it was a three berth with a tiny bathroom that reminded me of my last trip to Rome with a shower you step in to one body part at a time!  

The excitement of renting a campervan was building up and we couldn’t wait to test it out at our first camping ground: Victor Harbour. When we arrived, it was pouring with rain, so we spent our first night indoors, in our home for the next 4 days.

It’s only now, having moved from the comfort of the driver’s seat that we discover the true learnings around change, resilience and communication, as well as the meaning of moving cheek to cheek!

Lets rewind to my home for a moment. We have a peaceful, happy home, and we have enough space for everyone to move around in and do their respective activities. Lego in the play corner, baking in the kitchen, working in the office or just chilling on the lounge with the pets. Happy days!

Now, fast forward, to the first evening in our Campervan, the frustration brewed, the rain poured, Mr 7yo” wanted to use the toilet the same time as I was cooking, and my partner was trying to get to the fridge for a beverage by squeezing past me! The three of us often caught in a battle of wills as to who had the right of way!

Unless we learned quickly, this trip and the excitement of the “Campervan Adventure” was set to become a disaster of epic proportions!

Something needed to change, so we came up with some Campervan Strategies.

  1. Self-Awareness – Can you manage your own emotional responses?

  2. Prioritise – What is important right now?

  3. Set clear expectations – What is the outcome and the plan to get there?

  4. Communicate – Stop, breathe, decide, engage – responding not reacting!

  5. Check in regularly – One on ones to discuss progress and development needs

Does any of this sound familiar?

It should because these five steps are also very valuable to manage change, disruption and overwhelm in your own work environments.

  1. Self awareness
    I am aware of the change in my environment and I accept that it’s not comfortable for me right now, it is not within my sphere of influence to change the circumstances.  However, it is well within my influence to change my response to those circumstances.
  2. Prioritise
    What is the most important action right now? If what I am doing isn’t working for me or anyone else, what can I do differently! What options do I have to manage my priorities?
  3. Set clear expectations
    What do you want to achieve, and what action, right now, gets you moving toward your outcome? What is the first step and what will it take for you to begin?
  4. Communicate
    With so much open-plan, you can no longer pass people in the hallways without bumping into them, so make the bumps count, take an opportunity to connect with others and create open communication that goes both ways. If you learn to connect, communicate and build trusting relationships in the good times, then communication and connection in difficult times will flow more easily. If the communication comes from a place of emotion or disruption, then before you speak: STOP, BREATHE and DECIDE so you can respond instead of reacting.
  5. Check in regularly
    Take care of each other, check in by listening and bringing curiosity, what’s working well? What’s not working well? Is there anything you can do differently? What are your needs right now? Make it a conversation focused on psychological wellness and purpose.

So, what did I learn from applying these strategies to our Trip?

First, I recognised that I was feeling frustrated and squashed in. That feeling you get in overwhelm, when everyone wants something from you right now.

Mr 7yo” was busting for the loo and I needed a time out. I happily stepped towards the sliding door and opened it for some fresh air. Mr 7yo” took to the throne and I took a time out to breathe. My partner moved in to the lounge side of the campervan and was soon joined by Mr 7!

I came back to the kitchen area, opened the fridge to provide refreshments for the family and got back to the job at hand, reminding myself that disruption doesn’t have to be destruction!

I remembered we came away to have fun and some adventure and we ALL needed to be fully prepared for the upheaval to our routine, and expect that this is life in a box, and we have exactly what we asked for! We can’t change the weather, or the space so we need to change our responses and behaviour.  

We talked about some ideas for moving around the cabin, who stands where for particular tasks like cooking and bed making. Recognise that we don’t have the same spatial awareness, even though you would think that was completely obvious, it’s funny how habitual behaviour kicks in.

We still had bumps from time to time, but it became more fun than frustration as we had begun to acclimatise to our new environment.  

We checked in on our experience when we got home, discussed some continuous improvement and what we could do differently next time to make it even better.

That’s right, we had such fun we are doing it all again in the new year. Look out South Coast, here we come!

Consider this year of change that has been outside of your ability to influence, then consider how you first responded to that change and how you are responding differently now.

What is different? What have you learned?

Do All Things Happen For A Reason?

Do all things really happen for a reason? If one of your CliftonStrengths® is CONNECTEDNESS® then you probably believe that they do!

People with this theme believe that there are no real coincidences. While logically we are responsible for our own actions, thoughts and words, the linkage of those to our outcomes are connected to something much broader, a bigger picture.

Connectedness® is a talent that works based on acceptance. Acceptance that there are more people in humanity that have better intentions than bad, that there are bridges to be built around diversity, cultures and the sadness, gladness and madness of the world around us. It is about having a passion and purpose, a true “WHY” to believe in, to drive your motivation to take action and to feel a sense of contribution and growth.

In times of change it brings a calmness, in a team it helps bring unity. Sometimes you may not realize it until after it has shown itself. These are the ah ha! moments when you bring meaning to uncertainty, find a path to connect the pieces of the puzzle that provides perspective and hope to others.

On a personal note my 7 year old asked for a Rabbit for his birthday. Responsibly he said, “Mum, I’m going to be a Dad to this bunny, he is my son. Which of course makes you a Grandma! (insert unimpressed look here)” So we got the Bunny, its called Fluffy McFluff-face! Max has fallen so in love with this rabbit if anything untoward should happen, it would be considered disastrous.

Fast-forward to two months later: time to really settle in with our new family members. Imagine this: I am working from home on a video conference. I received a call from one of the school parents, who had loaned me a jump starter kit for my motorcycle (that’s another whole story)! Anyway, he says “I’m driving past your place and thought I would pick it up”. Then he says, “Oh my gosh there is a rabbit out on the road being chased by a large cat! (pause) %$#$ Kel, I think its Fluffy!”

“Surely not”, I said as I walked out to check my rabbit who I left safely in his hutch! Uh-oh! Houdini! Fluffy has escaped!

I ran outside to be met by Con, a parent, and a few neighbors who heard the commotion and my calling out loud for Fluffy! The cat next door is sauntering back to his house looking delighted with himself and Fluffy is no where to be seen. I’m running up and down the street in my news reader slippers and headphones still around my neck connected to the video conference!

Then a neighbor across the road spots Fluffy under a car. Time for the treats negotiation to bring him out from hiding and woo “the Fluffster” back into my arms! Phew. With him now safe and sound back in his hutch I considered the concept of connectedness.

Imagine if that parent hadn’t come along at that moment. Saw the rabbit being chased down the street by the neighbors cat at that time? Where would Fluffy be now? Imagine If I had not been interrupted and realized 4 hours later that Fluffy was missing? Imagine telling my 7 year old son that Grandma lost his child! And BOOM! from connectedness comes immediate gratitude. Thank you Con for calling me at that moment, seeing what you saw and being there to help. I’m sure now that all things happen for a reason! Only when we accept our circumstances can we learn to do: Act on them!

What do you need to accept in your current situation, what do you need to learn and how do your own talents relate to your results?

Do you ever wonder how your talents impact your outcomes? Interested in Finding out? https://www.corporatemagic.com.au/online-coaching/

Thank you for taking the time to read my article!

Corporate Magic Pty Ltd
Mobile +61 405523507 | Email:Kelley@corporatemagic.com.au | Web: www.corporatemagic.com.au | Behavioural Coach & Facilitator, Gallup Clifton Strengths| Extended DISC |Leadership Development

Do You Need To Reinvent Yourself In A New Industry?

Are you struggling to use the right words to express your transferable skills in a new industry on job applications? Would you like to be able to explain and demonstrate your talents moving from one industry to another? 

When we work in one industry for a long time we find ourselves speaking in that “lingo” because that is where we are recognised and understood. I have a partner who I once heard had a full conversation in a lift using three letter codes and acronyms!

Covid19 has put many of us in a position of having to apply for new roles and explain “why you should employee me!”

It’s so important to understand and recognise all your transferable skills, put your strengths in action, and, be able to express them in a way that others recognise them too.

I have recently been working with people on both discovering their strengths and more importantly, how to communicate their value so it can be understood and recognised by any employer.

Right now, you may be in an industry that has been crippled by the current environment. You need to know there is hope!

Many of you have extraordinary skills and now, the motivation to be open to new possibilities, let me show you how awareness of your incredible talents can manifest in to people taking notice of your applications for work or recognise your value in the current workplace.

I was recently mentoring a leader in the travel industry, one that we know has suffered significant losses during this pandemic.  She came to me with a long history in Travel, an industry she is very passionate about. One aspect of service driven industries like hospitality, travel, and tourism is the loyalty and passion of the people working in those areas.

Having had 22 years in that industry myself, I am very aware of the “blood, sweat and tears” that go into servicing guests, as well as the opportunities it can offer like no other. You get to experience people from all walks of life: kids, teens, young adults, middle-aged people, even grey nomads! All kinds of temperaments and egos, those of gratitude and attitude, those who ask you “do you know who I am?” and those you assist, counsel, mentor and relate to. You also get those who complain and those who compliment. You negotiate, placate, laugh and cry.

To me these are industries that provide us with growth, learning, and skills that are valuable in any field. These are the industries that remind us what it is to experience being human! 

So, when my client came to me she had exceptional loyalty. As the business crumbled around her she continued her consistent work ethic, ensuring every email was responded to and every client assisted with negotiations for refunds, insurance claims and administration work – no job was too big or too small, above or beneath her, she continued to do what it takes, grateful for the job until the shop fronts became untenable and were closed.

Having not applied for a job or had a job interview for over ten years she was at a point of disillusionment. As many have asked “What now? This is all I know.”

BOOM! there it is, the limiting belief that need to be busted! 

We went through a strengths-discovery process. Traditionally people focus on weakness fixing. Imagine what could happen if we shifted our focus to what we do well and did more of that?

Well, that is exactly what we did. We defined her talents and strengths and learned to understand how the awareness of her talents drove her motivation and desires in any given role. We uncovered the indicators of her talents and what they look like in action.

We identified her unique offerings as an individual and the barriers of her thinking, feeling, behaviour and expression that got in the way of her success. Finally, we became aware of her lesser talents and recognised her approach to managing those as needed.

With her permission, I am sharing the before-and-after impact:

Expression of Value to perspective employer pre-strengths coaching;

I am a focused, committed, and professional Manager within a travel agency consisting of two branches. Presently, I manage the xxx branch with a team of five consultants, with a mix of full time and part-time staff. My current focus is to achieve results & revenue growth, through motivating my team to reach individual & team targets.

The travel industry is so diverse & forever changing, and my role requires me to continue to stay up to date with industry trends & keeping our staff up to date with the latest offers, updates, training, sales techniques & policy changes. I thrive on the thrill of planning the perfect & seamless holiday for a large database of repeat & referred clients.

Versus

Expression of Value to perspective employer post strengths coaching;

I have reviewed your requirements for success in the role and believe I would be an excellent candidate with my background in service excellence and team leadership. This includes over 10 years leading multiple teams in a competitive and highly sales driven environment: the Hospitality and Tourism industry. As a leader I bring a consistency and strong team focus in my style. I create a culture of strong team empowerment and development through my natural mentoring style. I build trust quickly with others and develop focused teams that work towards a common goal. I am engaging and am known for my resilience and emotional agility in matters great and small. In a leadership role I offer a clear process of connection, effective action-based team meetings, professionalism and interpersonal skills for communication both face to face and with remote workers and customers alike... 

My question to you is which version peaks your interest as a perspective employer?

She recently sent me a testimonial based on her outcome.

I could have never imagined how valuable a coach/mentor could be to my career.  After 16 years in the same industry, I had become stagnate, restless and ready for change. Kelley focused on identifying my top five strengths and developing these through active learning sessions. The process proved invaluable, as it has given me such confidence to trust in my strengths, whilst reinventing myself and my career. Her tips for thinking outside the normal avenues challenged me and proved successful.  The result was a new role, plus calls for further interviews!  Having the guidance of an expert coach/mentor is the most beneficial decision you can make for yourself and your career. Kelley’s knowledge, commitment and passion are unwavering, and her drive to achieve results for her clients is commendable.

If you are looking for help to discover reinvention at work, please connect with me directly.

Corporate Magic Pty Ltd
Mobile +61 405523507 | Email:Kelley@corporatemagic.com.au | Web: www.corporatemagic.com.au | Behavioural Coach & Facilitator, Gallup Clifton Strengths| Extended DISC |Leadership Development

4 Behavioural Strategies to Being Open to New Opportunities

Are you looking up wondering where your next job is coming from?
You’re right! There is no such thing as actual “Pennies From Heaven”.

The term “pennies from heaven” is used to describe unanticipated gifts or surprises that bring good luck. Luck has been described to me as the moment when opportunity meets good preparation. So, how are you preparing for opportunities that may come your way.

These are my four strategies to being open to new opportunities.

  1. Say yes, then figure out how

    Recognise what you are good at. Think about a time where you felt at your best, where you really felt like you were contributing. What were you doing? Whatever that is for you, is likely the beginning of understanding your natural talents. Now consider industries or roles that require those talents.

    One of my mentees has particular talents in contract negotiation, attention to detail, customer service and a need to work in a culture where respect and ethical behaviour was not only valued but acted upon. Having spent her career in the travel industry she found herself redundant at the beginning of the COVID 19 pandemic. She searched for months for a new role where she could leverage her skills and natural talents, first focussing on what she knew, but with the ever-shrinking travel industry, opportunities were scarce. She reflected on her talents, and in what industries they could be leveraged, and then broadened her search, landing a job with one of the big 4 banks. She learned to say yes and figure out how!

  2. Have a growth mindset

    As a child I was often asked by my grandfather “What do you know?”. My learned response was “A little bit more than I knew yesterday, and a little bit less than I’ll know tomorrow.”
    A growth mindset it critical to allowing openness to opportunity and success. It allows a continuous pathway for learning and development and embraces the concept of “there is no failure, only feedback”. This allows us to learn and develop from both success and failure. A growth mindset gives us the willingness to adapt and build resilience for the future. One of the statements you will hear me say often is “If what you are doing is not working, then do something else” I truly believe this and practice it in all I do.

    Sometimes we need to un-learn and re-learn as is the case in our environment at the moment where we are learning new social practices, new ways of living in our home environments, new ways of working and un-learning the old “norms” of the workplace, average sanitisation, assumed practice of “touch” greetings and social gatherings. There is truly an opportunity to learn something new every-day if you look for it you will see!

  3. Feel the Fear and do it anyway

    Susan Jeffers author of the book “Feel the fear and do it anyway” discusses how we handle fear in two ways through Pain or Power. When we are in the pain process we stall, find ourselves in helplessness or depression. On the other hand, in power we are motivated to action, excitement and choice.

    In these uncertain times, people who feel powerless may find themselves in a constant state of fear. We can change the way we manage fear through our words, our self-talk and self-care. The truth is that the only things you can control, is what you say, what you think and feel and how you behave. If you choose to do or do not, the outcome is your accountability.

    I want to share my personal experience in relation to this concept;
    Those who know me know that I am super optimistic, I say yes and figure out how (with the exception of complicated analytics or excel spreadsheets), I like to think, I feel the fear and do it anyway despite potential stinking thinking. Today I felt full of fear. It’s been five months since the pandemic began and all of my face to face business disappeared, so I am rebuilding. Reinvention takes time and I am not used to the waiting! I feel like my contribution is wasted, my motivation has taken a beating, and my working future is looking dim. Without self-direction I find myself procrastinating, emotionally eating and feeling tired and restless all at once. My creativity is simmering, and my self-talk has slipped into the pain category. Today, I didn’t “manage” myself well. I was cranky at the dog for being so needy and frustrated with my child for the same reason. Today life feels a bit dark.

    I spend a few hours in this space, it’s not good for me and I know how to get out of it, so why am I choosing to sit here?

    Then I remember I am BEING HUMAN. I take a time out. I let myself know that its ok, to not be ok, just for a little while. Instead of berating myself for being a bad parent, making bad food choices, and procrastinating, I decide to take myself off to a massage. I need to get into a better state of mind to continue and I need to start by being kind to myself. (I am reminded, my dog doesn’t come when I yell at her, she comes when I give her a treat!) I understand kindness has to begin with self so I can then contribute to others. I speak with my partner about how I’m feeling, and I am so grateful for the support and love I have around me.

    So, it has taken me three days to write this article, today I am finishing it, I am ok with being vulnerable and share my story with hope that it will contribute to someone else. Today, I am feeling the fear and doing it anyway!

  4. Regular self-check in – what are you prioritising or procrastinating

    In times of uncertainty we can be easily distracted by “stuff” all sorts of things from eating to grocery lists, to self-talk, to what I must to do to what I must avoid doing. Are you taking on the easy tasks and leaving the big ones? It’s time to check in, regroup and ask yourself. “What is the best use of my time right now?”.

    Make a decision on that and then take action no matter the response! If it is to go for a walk, write an article, watch an episode of your favourite show, chunk down that overwhelming “A” project and start one task, then just do it! Take one action today. Now, I have got my list, my five things to today. There are only five. Sometimes less depending on the size of the task and the meetings in between. At the end of today I will feel a sense of achievement, a sense of contribution. Take 5 minutes and check in with yourself. Where are you at today?

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